11 Rigid Misconceptions about Gay Men

11 Rigid Misconceptions about Gay Men
Over time with regards to gay men, diverse ideas or beliefs have risen and have thrived. It is true that every individual is entitled to personal opinion and belief, but it is also true that not all of these beliefs are accurate or even reasonable. A majority of them are rather outrageous. The tendency to judge a book by its cover or to make attempt at describing the pain caused to the foot that stays in a particular footwear which one has never tried on has always been high among folks and about gay men and their own “normal” world, the case is no different. There are several misconceptions about gay men but few are highlighted here to enlighten even the least number of persons who may stumble on this piece.

1. Being Gay is a Choice

This is one of the most incorrect misconceptions heterosexual persons have about gay men. If a majority of gay men had the luxury of choice, they would have forced their way into the rigid stereotypic sphere carved out by society called heterosexuality. No one has ever chosen to be gay. Even those who may claim to have been pushed to the wall after a very distressful disappointment from a person of the opposite sex can be proven to have that disappointment as an immediate cause founded on one that is remote when a closer look at their past or sexual cravings is taken.

2. Being Gay is a Curse or Punishment From God

If God wanted to punish a person, I’m quite certain this wouldn’t be his last take on the menu.

3. Gays Can Never Love a Lady Sincerely

An attraction to the same sex may be present but the truth is that the heart (perceived to be the part of the human that beats in sync with human emotions of love or hatred) is not a sexual organ and the mind of the individual is not regulated based on sexual parameters. They don’t really care. Love and care from whoever is all that counts. Gay men have the same hearts as heterosexual men.

4. They are a Notoriously Promiscuous Group Even When Seriously Involved with another Partner

While it is generally thought that gay men usually cannot help but have numerous sexual partners, it does not make heterosexual men anymore righteous than gay men are. Sexual orientation really has nothing to do with attitude towards commitment. As a matter of fact, their chances of being less promiscuous are higher due to the closed circle within which they exist and the societal disapproval they have to put up with.

5. They are Born That Way and are Therefore Doomed to Their Fate

A good number of gay men have experiences of sexual abuse and molestation by adult males who have always claimed membership of the heterosexual class. Having been exposed to this part of life, they gradually grow into the real deal.

6. Gay Men are Sexually Excited By and Attracted to Anything That Has a Penis

This is a very deep and unfortunate misconception. Gay men also have taste and exercise the power of choice in this regard just like heterosexual men do. A gay man may see someone of the same sex fully clothed or even nude before his presence and still find him as disgusting as fuck!

7. They Can Never Have a Stable Marital Experience With the Opposite Sex Due to the Challenges of Addiction

No matter how high a particular hurdle is, it can always be overcome. With discipline and determination, their heterosexual relationships can succeed well enough.

8. Gay Men are Usually Queeny or Effeminate

This is so not true. There are gay men out there who are very much masculine and muscular with belly packs. Body build, dress sense or walking step isn’t all there is to it. A guy may also be somewhat effeminate and not even gay at all. These variables aren’t really as fixed as society has made them seem. Recently, the ones coming out as gay men are masculine than the word masculine.

9. Gays are Mentally Deranged

This assertion holds no water. There are successful gay individuals, celebrities and others who have shown no trait of mental illness. Besides, there is even no specific proof in favour of that.

10. Gay Men are the Pedophiles in Our World

All men possess equal tendencies of pedophilia. It ought not to be restricted to gay men. Majority of cases where boys are molested reveal the culprits as heterosexual men judging from their adult relationships (since many of them are married persons). While some gay men could be pedophilic, heterosexual men also have their share of the space. This cannot be denied.

11. All Gay Men are Cooks and Lovers of Household Chores and all Male Cooks and Lovers of Household Chores are Gay Men

Society has made cooking and household chores a woman’s thing in a house where both man and woman feed and live. The nourishment of one’s own body isn’t what should be left to the care of another. If a man takes delight in cooking, cleaning and tidying up even in the presence of his wife or girlfriend or sister, it doesn’t make him less of a man; it doesn’t push him into the woman’s world as such. On the other hand, certain men who are gay find these same tasks irritating and demeaning. These things have their straight paths which, of course, should be respected.

In sum, because times change, judging a book by its cover can be very misleading. We are now in a world where people put on fictional characters in order to blend with the socially constructed norms and beliefs.

What other misconception(s) about gay men do you know?

Tamuno Reuben

Those who seek knowledge seek power because the pen is mightier than the sword.

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